Compassion

Compassion:
n. - a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Today was my second day back at work. I have had a whole summer of freedom and now it's back to the confinement of bell schedules and standards. In other words, back to teaching high school. We've been in meetings - the kids aren't back yet - and all we hear is testing, test scores, API, AYP, standards based...and it gets so depressing!

The topic of motivation came up today in one of our meetings and at one point, one of the teachers responded "there's a wall, you can start to bang your head against it". That's exactly how I felt two years ago. I would walk into my classroom everyday and try to get these kids to care about history and it just was NOT working. I felt like I was banging my head against the wall. And then I started to talk with the students. Really talk - not just about their grades and how they aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing or their behavior is not right - but talk about life. It helped me shift my perspective back to where it needed to be - in a place of compassion. Instead of utter frustration with the lack of motivation and achievement, I began to try to put myself in their shoes.

Of course, I cannot put myself in their shoes. I grew up in a stable family. Sure, we had a lot of financial strain, but it was stable. I never had to worry on a daily basis if I was going to be shot at or kicked out of my house or if my house would be raided by the police. I don't know what it's like to have a family member incarcerated. I grew up surrounded by people who had an education and held high expectations for my education. Education came first. I had positive role models everywhere I looked - church, camp, my family.

I took an honest look at myself and asked the question, "If I were in their shoes, would I be trying any harder? Would I be coping any better?" My honest answer was, "I don't know. Probably not." It is so easy to get on my high horse and think I would have been better, but how do I know that? I haven't been in their shoes, I don't know what it is like.

Granted, not all of my students walk a harder road than I did. Some of my students make very poor choices even though they have plenty of advantages. There are so many opportunities out there and many many people who want to help and yet they choose not to accept it. But there are also plenty of students who do succeed. Some of my best students who have had pretty hard roads have learned from others' mistakes, worked hard, and overcame. I am so proud of them and really admire their strength and wisdom at a young age.

What makes the biggest difference though? People. People who care and have compassion for these kids. I have realized more and more as I work with my colleagues just how many good teachers there are out there. No teacher is perfect and there are teachers who just shouldn't be teaching. Still, I would say that is the minority by far. I see how all the teachers I work with bring a different talent, knowledge, perspective to the students with whom they work. They are an amazing group of people.

Teachers are not the only people who can make a difference though. These children need positive role models in their lives. When you look at the role models they are inundated with - Paris Hilton, Snoop Dog, playboy bunnies, and the list goes on - you see the drastic need for intervention. High school students want to connect with others. They want to feel like someone cares and loves them for who they are.

Jesus is the perfect example of compassion and He did the ultimate act to alleviate our suffering. I think we need to have more compassion in our lives for those around us. It is amazing to me when I treat my students with compassion how much of a difference it makes in both me and them. I'm not as frustrated as I was before in dealing with them. They respond better to me. When I get out of my own perspective and my own world and try to step into theirs - which is exactly what Jesus did for us - I feel a lot more compassion and only then can I help assist them in taking steps in the right direction in a way that will be more meaningful.

Just know that you are a role model and you are an example. There are so many youth out there - in your family, in your church, in your local schools, in your neighborhoods, that you can help guide through these transitional years in their lives. They need your help. I went to juvenile hall not long ago to help with a game night for adolescent boys. Wow, they really were appreciative. You could tell their eyes lit up and they felt cared for. Did they have anyone in their lives to help them navigate it successfully before they were sent to juvenile hall? Would they even have been there if they had had someone? Here's a sad statistic I heard recently - we are #1 when it comes to incarcerations. What are we doing for prevention? I don't believe it's the government's job to do that either - it's our job. It's the Christian church that should be out there making a difference. Are we? Where is our compassion?